wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
