can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
