hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
