I must be too annoying 4 u.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
