come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
