This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
