god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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