That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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