Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize