i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
