This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
