Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
