i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
