sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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