I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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