i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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