nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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