oh god the rape fog is back!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
