1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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