so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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