i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
