Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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