Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize