went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
