fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
