I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
