tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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