it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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