he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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