the day after is always just damage control
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
50% drunk capacity currently
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
