mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
