Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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