Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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