that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
