next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
