i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
