Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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