my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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