I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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