2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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