I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
