If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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