so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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