Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
