Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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