Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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