Ambien. No doubt about it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
