why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
