Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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