So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
