i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
