Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
