My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
