Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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