2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
