You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
