Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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