I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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