but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need a beard to bite.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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