The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
