I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
